It Takes a Village

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This past weekend was the first time since January 8th that I’ve felt my body physically relax. After operating in fight-or-flight mode for the last 8 weeks it felt good to feel my shoulders drop, my stomach unknot and to be able to breathe deeply again.

My son, Jason, has had MS (multiple sclerosis) since he was 20. Over the years he would have flare-ups, be treated, and recover, and get on with his life. We thought it would go on this way for the rest of his life… but the course of the disease changed and he needed a cane to assist him, then six years ago he needed a wheelchair. The disease had become progressive.

On January 8th his friends called to tell me he was in the hospital. He’d caught a virus, and spent 11 days there, then was sent to a nursing home/ rehab center to get stronger and finish healing. He hated the whole experience, so he left and went home to recover with all of his friends helping him. The problem was that the MS left him confined to his bed this time.

We hired a Home Health Care team to come in 8-12 hour shifts while I looked for another place that would be appropriate for him. He had a village of friends, doctors, and caregivers surrounding him, yet things were still going downhill. It became a race against the clock – and his insurance company – to find the right place for him.

On February 7th we threw a 53rd birthday party for him, and he was able to sit up and visit with his friends, and we all enjoyed his birthday cake: a deliciously moist dark chocolate cake with strawberry filling, pale strawberry buttercream icing, and fresh berries on top. It was a thing of beauty.

Three days later, after a particularly bad night, he was taken to the hospital crying in pain. His friends again called to tell me, and Turk and I headed there to see what was going on. He had developed an infection that injured his kidney. At 10:30 at night they released my heavily- sedated son to us with an explanation of the problem, how they had treated it, a bunch of tubes, bags, suggestions, and a prescription to be filled the next morning.

Between all of us, we managed for five more days (while I continued struggling to find a place for him) when his favorite care-giver called to tell me she thought he needed to go back to the hospital immediately. She wanted me to call an ambulance!

She was right, Jason definitely needed to be back in the hospital. Since the downtown one, just blocks from his apartment, was at maximum capacity he was taken to a newer and much less-crowded one on the north side of the city. Rather than treating and releasing him again, this hospital kept him and worked hard to get his pain under control, cleared up the lingering infection, and a social worker there helped us find a facility to move Jason into that could handle his medical issues AND would accept his insurance.

Jason is slowly adjusting to his new life in a retirement center/nursing home where he has 24/7 care. The nurses and attendants treat him well, he says that the food is good, and most importantly, he’s close to all of his friends!

There are still a few important things I have to work out, but I’m not hyperventilating all of the time, I’m not worrying about him every second of the day, nor am I handling everything alone. My son has built the most wonderful village around himself to help us both, and I am grateful beyond words for each and every one of them!

XO Donna

GOOD THINGS

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Since I last posted, I had a birthday and turned 71. Unimaginable! If you’re not there yet, it’s just fine, I don’t suddenly feel “old.”
Old is absolutely a state of mind, a way of looking at life. A choice. And one I am not choosing.

To celebrate, we had a delicious lunch out – yes, in a public place! I have been hesitant to go any place without a mask for a long time, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and having had both a flu and pneumonia shot. As Dr. Fauci said, “An over-abundance of caution.”
I love that, and I think he’s pretty cute, too. So, I’m finally dipping my toes in the water.

The restaurant we chose was spacious, with lots of room between the tables, so I felt safe. The building was originally the old city post office here in Georgetown which has been newly renovated into a modern and elegant space, with tall charcoal wainscoting and soaring ceilings. There’s even a grand piano in the main dining room, which could be another wonderful reason to return.

As a reminder of its past-life, they’ve left a bank of post boxes in the entry foyer. We used them as a backdrop for our photo. I always judge a restaurant by the state of it’s Ladies Room – and it was immaculate and beautifully appointed. Add a daybed and it would make a lovely boudoir. Gave me some decorating ideas!

My dear friend Mike, (on right) whom you’ve met before, came with us to celebrate our Scorpio birthdays! We’ve been doing this for years. I’m lucky to have him in my life. The three of us were seated in a spacious, yet still cozy, booth. The food was great, and our waitress was on top of every single thing, a delight in this age of indifferent service. We even met and chatted with the manager. As were were leaving our waitress took this photo of us. Another great birthday on the books!

I’m a big BBC and Masterpiece fan, and I have a couple of things to recommend. First, “Mrs Palfrey at the Claremont,” was a joy. It stars Joan Plowright, who strikes up a sweet (not romantic) friendship with a young writer. It turns out they have more in common with each other – despite the age difference – than they do with people their own ages. I really love the theme of intergenerational friendships. Living in a place where everyone is the same age, I really miss having that, as I did when I worked.
In my rating system, I give this movie 5 hearts.

Next is “Enola Holmes.” Do I mean Holmes, like? Yes, Mycroft and Sherlock’s Holmes younger sister. A wonderful, exciting romp about a young girl who was unconventionally raised, then abandoned, by her suffragette, firebrand mother – played by Helena Bonham Cater.
Enola struggles to find her place, though her gift is undeniable, and eventually, after lots of adventures and misadventures, all becomes clear. It’s in two parts, and worth watching on your own, but it would be fun to watch with kids old enough (10+) to follow the plot and be inspired by the lessons learned. Especially liberating for young girls. This movie gets another 5 hearts.

And last, but not least, I am anxiously awaiting a new film starring Bill Nighy. You know him, of course – he played the aging rock star in “Love Actually.” (Which you must put on the top of your holiday watchlist!)
I believe I have seen everything he’s ever acted in, he’s that good and that watchable. The new film is called, “Living,” which comes out here in the States on December 23, after its debut at Sundance Film Festival earlier this year.

The film has an amazing pedigree: inspired by the 1886 novella The Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy, with a screenplay by Kazuo Ishiguro, the Nobel and Booker prize winner who wrote The Remains of the Day. It’s set in the 1950s about a civil servant who has dutifully trudged through life, and upon finding out he has cancer, and not a lot of time left, decides to make his remaining time count. If anyone can make this beautiful, it’s Nighy. I can’t wait…. c’mon Santa!

For now, I wish you all a lovely Thanksgiving, and a safe journey if you’re traveling. I am thankful that you are all at the other end of this post, reading and maybe learning some fun new things. I look forward to hearing how your Thanksgiving went.

And, if you are a Black Friday fan, I’ve got a sale running in my shop, starting Friday with Free Shipping, no code needed. Here’s the address.
I’ve been told the link didn’t work, but you can copy and paste, or just type this out. Thanks to Trish for letting me know!

etsy.com/shop/fairviewphotos

XO Donna

ASK YOUR MOTHER

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My youngest sister Elizabeth and I have been having long conversations lately where we wonder about our Mom’s relationship with her older (and only) sister Wilma. Their age difference was also 14-15 years. I know my mother adored and missed Wilma because she took me, then me and Terry, then me, Terry and Lynn to visit her each year. And I remember watching her write letters. Lots of letters.

I’ve talked about my love of those long train trips trips from NYC to St. Louis, MO before. I enjoyed every minute, but can you imagine being a young woman of 25 with three babies traveling by train across country? The question we ask is, “Why did she move to NY when her whole family was in the St. Louis area?

I’ve never wondered why my parents married at City Hall with a Justice of the Peace, just accepted it at face value, but Elizabeth finds it inconceivable that they wouldn’t have had a wedding with all of Mom’s family in attendance. Maybe they didn’t accept my Yankee father… or his religion, and dealing with that was more than they wanted to do. Maybe money was an issue, Dad had just come home from the Korean war and was building a career. Maybe it seemed more romantic to them to elope. There is so much that we know nothing about…

(My parents. December 3, 1950. My mother’s jacket and skirt were the loveliest camel-colored velvet.)


As we talk about this gap in our knowledge of our Mom, we wish that we’d been more present, asked her questions, listened between the lines to what she was saying. Well, just listened, period. Kids tend to be innately more self-centered.

With a house full of kids and all the work that caring for six other people entailed (Mom had the five of us girls by the time she was 35, birth control not being an option back then) I’m sure she didn’t have time to reminisce about her hopes or dreams, or why she made the choices she made. And having married at only 19, had she even had time to think about any of it yet, really?

There are so many questions that neither of us knew to ask. I think this would make a good book – asking everyone, asking all of you, “What do you wish you had asked your Mother while you could?” Please, please , please if you have a suggestion, leave it in the comments. Who knows where it’ll go?

She’s been gone 24 years now, and I almost miss her more, but the things I miss about her are different now; I miss the “her” that I never knew.

I appreciate you all,

XO Donna

Forever Young

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Have you ever read something (other than politics) that just pisses you off?

I read a post on Sunday by a fitness guy I follow who said “what do you think of when you think of the average 62-70 year old? Shuffling along, stooped over, looking down at their feet to see where they’re going so they don’t trip, right?”

I’M INSULTED! After reading further, I realized that his ultimate point was that our bodies are designed to be strong and capable well into old age, but only “IF you never stopped moving, playing, lifting, climbing, and running… from childhood on.” Our society has become too sedentary, thus, too unfit and unhealthy too early. But, not us, right?

MY FIRST WAY to stay “young” is to stay strong and flexible. If you are playing, chasing, lifting and entertaining your Grands, do it as much as you can. If they wear you out, don’t start sitting on the sidelines, get stronger – for them and for yourself.

There are so many ways to accomplish this. What is my routine? I’ve done Nia Classes taught by my dear friend Holly (http://hollynastasi.com) for more than 20 years. Now I do them on Zoom with people from all across the world!
I also walk briskly 2-3 times a week, do crunches after walking, Plank daily, yoga stretches and crawling/playing on the floor regularly.

FLOORPLAY – MY HAPPY PLACE

While walking is great, it doesn’t engage your whole body; add some Yoga, Chair Yoga, Nia, Pilates, Zumba, Bicycling, Water Aerobics, Light Weights training, or Kettlebell. Just find something you love and go for it!

THE SECOND WAY to stay “forever young” is to develop intergenerational friendships. I have been very lucky to have friends both much older and much younger than myself.

The young stylists I met at work were a tough crowd, LOL. We could have easily dismissed each other because of our age, but they teased me into learning the latest technology, fashion trends, and music, while showing me a lot of respect for my life-skills . They are what I most miss about no longer working in the beauty industry.
Other friendships were formed over a love of good food, photography and art, and mutual admiration. These talented young women have been willing to include me in their lives. I am honored.

My older friends guided me with nurturing, encouragement and the benefit of their life experiences. Two set great examples of being young at heart, and were certainly stand-ins for my Mom after she passed in ’98. They were always generous, engaged, and active.

Nancy became client in the mid-1980s, and we became fast-friends. She was a little-bit coastal-grandmother – her family had a large Victorian summer-home on Rhode Island – and a little bit hippy. She hiked for years, and did yoga into her 90’s. She read widely, had been a librarian. I loved her style, her thoughtful way of speaking, her comfortable cottage in South Austin. We lived near each other, and I especially enjoyed being invited to lunch at her home.

We shared a love of blue & white Asian bowls, and on one of our last visits, I photographed these on her sunlit shelf, creating this watercolor.
She was always open-minded, curious, and inclusive. I miss her terribly.

NANCY’S NEW CUT (that bone-structure!)
Nancy’s Bowls

I met Lee at BookPeople in Austin, when we attended a book-signing for three women we both knew. She “took me under her wing,” became my friend, and was always a steadfast cheerleader as I wrote my book and struggled to regain my health. She is the first person I acknowledged in my book, and I don’t know if I would have finished it without her checking in on me.

Lee and I shared a love of hair and fashion, and Lee loved being right in the thick of things, in the spotlight if possible. Being shy, I admired that quality a lot!

She was a successful public speaker, who left Exxon to pursue her own career, then created a school to train hundreds of others to do what she did. Lee’s 90th birthday party (below) was an amazing gathering of all the people whose lives she had touched. She pledged that night to have another for her 100th, but passed away last year, 4 years shy of her goal. I really miss our annual birthday lunches, and her bright, cheery voice!

Lee’s 90th Birthday Party
Lee @ 93 Our Annual Birthday Lunch @ Cheesecake Factory

I came across this photo the other day which I’d saved, and it’s a reminder to myself after I found myself thinking, “what does it matter if I go out looking like this?”
This is the THIRD WAY to stay youthful, and this picture really is worth a thousand words.

We’ve gotta live like we’ve got lots more life ahead of us, because we may have. What we do today will affect our tomorrows.

Thanks for being in my life. I loved all of your comments!
XO Donna

KINDER AND GENTLER

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IF you’ve noticed I haven’t shown up in your mailbox for a while, it’s because I have had Covid.

Yes, despite being vaxxed and boosted, and wearing a mask everywhere indoors, I got it anyway, as did my sweetie. I gotta say, I never had any doubts about my need for the vaccine, and I am grateful that so many people worked so hard to make one… I can’t imagine not having the vaccine – it knocked me on my ass, not gonna sugar-coat it. Today is the first day out of the last 14 that I have felt a bit like myself again. But I could sure use a nap. LOL

Let’s magically go back to what I began to write 3 weeks ago:

I am making a quiche for my son. It’s one I made all the time when he was growing up and it is dependent on perfectly-ripe farm-fresh tomatoes. I bought a few at our farmer’s market this morning, along with some onions, and I can’t get the memory of this Tomato & Onion Pie (what it is called in this cookbook I’ve had since the mid-1970s) out of my mind. A chunk of Jarlsberg, a few eggs, some half & half, and it will be heavenly!

Much used, well loved.

This cookbook was published in 1972, a year after my son was born, but I didn’t buy it until three years later when I began my first hairdressing job. There was an incredibly beautiful woman who owned a shop half a block from the salon where I worked. She was my boss’s client and we would always talk as I shampooed her hair.

Her shop – The Jade Garden – just around the corner from our shop, was full of airplants in stunning seashells from all around the globe, suspended everywhere in the delicate macrame hangers she made. Acrylic pedestals in varying heights featured whimsical terrariums she constructed. She was fascinating and exotic to me: she’d been to India, where she’d been given her name by her guru. She ran her own very chic business, something unimaginable to my twenty-five year old self. Her jewelry! And, she was a vegetarian.

I never really enjoyed meat, but I had no idea there were options other than what I had been raised with. There was a small health food store within walking distance of my shop – frequented by all the people coming into town from NYC to catch the ferries to Fire Island. We walked there together for lunch one day, and I was hooked. Down the veggie rabbit-hole I went!

I bought this book there. I had a Bohemian heart, and this book with it’s sweet stories of sharing good food which has been lovingly prepared struck a chord within me. Growing up, dinner was something to be “fixed” and on the table on time every night. Usually it was a very stressful event, to be endured. Not something to be enjoyed. This book presented a better way for me raise my son and enjoy our meals together.

These illustrations appealed to my Bohemian heart.

Between this book, and it’s follow-up, AnneMarie Colbin’s book, “Food and Healing, ” and James Beard’s book on bread – plus all the wonderful vegetarian friends I met when I moved to Austin a lifetime ago, I’ve always eaten well. Often on a tight-budget as a single-mom, but always well. Going back to my hippie roots always makes me happy. Food should be delicious, made with healthful ingredients, and beautiful. I am happy I made this quiche before I got sick; it made me feel better knowing that my son was enjoying it!

It is beautiful, no? if any of you are interested in the recipe, please leave a remark in the comments – I will gladly send it to you. It’s fabulous with a nice salad, a glass of buttery Chardonnay, and pears or peaches for dessert. And just as good when reheated in a toaster oven the next day!
XO Donna

Tomato and Onion Pie, oh my!

SYNCHRONICITY

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Isn’t it odd how someone you haven’t seen for years can suddenly float into your mind, and then, bam! you run into them in a place you would never have imagined?

I live 35 miles NW of Austin, Texas… and my dentist, and quite a few of my doctors, are there.
I’m completely unwilling to go to anyone else, so I usually plan a few things around medical visits when I am going to be in town. Today was a twice-rescheduled dental cleaning and new x-rays. Then off to get bloodwork done. Last stop, visit my son to sit in the shade to enjoy lunch with him.

I parked on the street in front of the big old brick home where he rents an apartment. It’s a beautiful neighborhood close to the university, lots of tall trees and still has un-metered parking. He has a tiny brick patio under those tall trees, and that’s where we always visit.

When we said our good-byes, I climbed into my now very hot car, got my purse settled, and was waiting for the A/C to cool the car. I was just about to fasten my seatbelt and leave, when I saw a man walking towards the car parked in front of me.

It couldn’t be… I was thinking about him and his wife just yesterday, remembering their swimming pool, with its dark bottom, shaded and made private in the middle of downtown Austin, by bamboo. I wished I was in that pool, and hoped they were well.

Side-note: our friendship ended about seven years ago – when she and I fell-out.

I got out of my car and called out to him, never stopping to wonder if I’d be rejected, and was greeted with a warm hug, and a nice conversation.

I always do my best to forgive and move on. Sometimes the ending of a friendship is wistful, you wish it had gone down differently, you miss them. Other times, you chalk it up to a lesson learned, and that person becomes “just somebody that I used to know.” You know?

This fell into the first category. I don’t know if anything will come of this, I expect nothing. But I finally got to say that I am sorry for the way our friendship ended, and let him know that I think of them often, fondly. He said they felt the same way, too.

As he was walking back to his car he turned to me, “Your birthday is still November 6th, right?”

I’m amazed at everything that conspired to make this happen – 30 seconds later and it wouldn’t have. I feel like I am finally getting my mojo back!

XO. Donna

PS – Speaking of Mojo – everything in my Etsy shop is on sale half-price. They make lovely gifts. Link below. XO

etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

AND HERE’S TO YOU

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“Mrs. Robinson. Jesus loves you more than you will know… “
No, wait! That’s not what I meant to say, but now you’re humming it too, aren’t you?

Here’s to you, 2022, because you’re going to be a great year!

I believe this wholeheartedly, and the fact that I accomplished two major goals last year, and turned 70 to boot, gives me a foundation for my belief.

My first goal was to have what turned out to be a life-saving surgery. Now, almost seven months later, I feel so much better that I can look forward to a healthier, exciting year. My cardiologist is thrilled with my improvement – I saw her Tuesday and she reduced my meds because my blood-pressure is now too low – because my heart is working properly again!

My second goal (and I went right down to the wire accomplishing it) was taking an idea that came out of a therapy session, and turning it into a reality. I’ve opened a shop designing/selling greeting cards on ETSY. The cards are made from some of my favorite photos and professionally-printed for me on lovely card stock.

Maybe it’s my age, although I’d rather blame it on anything else, but the learning curve to get the thing up-and-running was an absolute bear! Have you noticed this, too? Does everything seem more complicated?
It took me months to get all of my ducks-in-a-row, but it opened with a bang on December 31!

Here’s the link to visit: etsy.com/shop/FairviewPhotos

It is so exciting to sit here working, surrounded by packages of beautiful cards in shiny wrappers, imagining all of the loving notes that will be written and received.

Flower Power

Naming the shop was a challenge, but I set an intention one night before bed: I would know what to call it when I woke in the morning. And I did: FairviewPhotos is named for the only street where all of the O’Klock sisters lived together.

It was just me, Terry, and Lynn when we lived in Bohemia, a little town on Long Island, in the mid-50’s. Then, new baby sister, Andee, joined us in Sayville in the 60’s while a new house was being built. When the Bayport house was ready, we moved in, and Elizabeth (whom you met in my post in August) was born. All five of us on Fairview Avenue.

There are two other reasons I believe it will be a good year – and yes, they are “airy-fairy,” but, I study Tarot and Numerology a bit, and last year was a chaotic “5” year. (2+0+2+1 =5) all about personal freedom in all it’s forms – and look what that turned into!

This year will be a “6” year, (2+0+2+2 = 6) and the preponderance of twos is also good because they are about partnership, diplomacy and love. Yes, THANK YOU!

The number “6” is about taking responsibility, with an emphasis on relationships and equilibrium. This year may be more about “What’s good for ALL of us?” and less about “Me, my rights, and what I want.” With this mindset there is room for an emphasis on growth and healing, cooperation, and service to others.

I read that 2022 is also a magnetic year; meaning that you can attract things more easily, both good and bad. Focus on your goals, and think BIG. Stay positive, drop judgements toward yourself and others. And drop guilt. Who needs more of that?

My Vitex Card

The icing on the cake for me, is the Pantone Color of the Year 2022, is VERY PERI. It’s not quite blue and not quite violet, but it is the color of the Sixth chakra, our Third Eye. It’s the color of the Vitex flower, above.

Last year’s color was Ultimate Gray… if that tells you anything. Don’t get me wrong, I love grey. This chakra, and it’s corresponding color, relate to self-responsibility and the ability to see things from a higher viewpoint, rather than satisfying your own ego. It also gives us the experience of being part of the whole.

The gift of this chakra is seeing AND understanding.

Let’s have faith that things are improving, let’s focus on what’s good. It’s a magnetic year, after all.

Let’s decorate our home with indigo-colored flowers, or better yet, plant some iris, lavender, and periwinkles in your garden. We planned to plant a Vitex tree and lavender bed this spring – I knew there was a reason I was focused exclusively on purple plants for my garden!

Frankincense, Lavender, Neroli and Juniper are all supposed to be beneficial for the Third Eye Chakra – they are available as incenses and oils, which I love and my sweetie hates. Relationships and equilibrium, huh? I’ll get back to you on the incense.

Wishing you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.
XO Donna

LASAGNA

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Lasagna is a special occasion dish: Easter, Christmas, maybe a big birthday. All of the hours of preparation and assembly are done step-by-step with a sense of duty, tradition, and love. An obligation willingly accepted. It is understood that no matter what is happening – good or bad – a lasagna will always make it better, and the family gathered around the table to share in the deliciousness was the best thing of all.

This I learned from my in-laws.

Growing up, we didn’t eat lasagna, my Mom didn’t know how to make it until I’d married and my in-laws taught her. Our family’s go-to for special occasions was a ham… but most of our holidays were, well, not very special. My father’s anxiety and frustration increased as the hours ticked by, and by dinnertime everyone was wound-up so tight that nobody was really hungry.
My Mom may have made a perfectly delicious meal, but as good as it was, there was very little room for fun or conversation at the dinner table.

I met my future husband when I was just sixteen. My first invitation to dinner at his home was a revelation. They were a three-generation family under one roof, only the second I’d ever met, and everyone was working together, music was playing – probably opera – and when we sat to eat, there was lots of talking around the crowded dinner table… and a lasagna. One mouthful and I felt I had gone to Heaven!

Although my marriage didn’t last because we were too young, we always stayed friends. Or friendly, depending on the year. Lucky for me, my relationship with my in-laws DID last, for more than 40 years. When I think of Christmas dinners, it’s always theirs that comes to mind. Theirs that was the exemplar. From my father-in-law’s delicious French onion soup, to my MIL Dot’s multi-course extravaganza, and finally to her mom, Gram’s pleasure in asking, “Whatsa matter, isn’t it good?” when compliments weren’t immediately forthcoming because our mouths were full of her delicious lasagna.

I am sad that those days are only memories now, and happy that I got to be part of such a family.

This year I am going to make a lasagna for Christmas Eve. I haven’t made one in at least 7 years, since I had to quit eating wheat products. When I learned that Barilla makes good no-boil lasagna noodles that hold their shape, I knew it was time. I have had enough experience with gluten-free cooking that I believe I can make this work.

And yet, I’m a little nervous, doubting myself. For some reason, I feel the weight of all of those delicious memories bearing down on me. Will I get it right? Here’s where the rubber meets the road: all of my years of absorbing their experience and wisdom added to my years of cooking, plus the very best ingredients I can find, will, of course, add up to a wonderful lasagna. My version of lasagna.

What do I have to be nervous about?

I will serve it proudly to my Sweetie, my son, and his Dad – we are all sharing a meal this year, and even if it’s not like the old ways, they will all love it.

Here’s hoping that everything you cook turns out perfectly, and fills both bellies and hearts. And here’s wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy, healthy, and love-filled New Year!

Gratefully,
XO Donna

Flowers

MOTHERS of REINVENTION

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After spending the last six months recuperating, my energy is returning and my mind is busy searching for a project. Something to make. Something pretty and shiny. Something to share.

In order to free my mind, first I needed to clean out my closet, yet again and make space for that idea to come to me. I hate clutter.

I realized two things as I sorted through my clothes: first, I have lots of clothes I thought would be great for “retirement,” but I don’t like them anymore. They feel baggy now, and frumpy to me.
And the other thing is that the clothes I want to wear, and add to my closet, seem to be clothes for a lifestyle I don’t have.

Those clothes are more appropriate for a city-slicker on-the-go, than for living in Sun City, Texas.

I made a large donation pile that went to our local Goodwill, and I made a “sell on Poshmark” pile. You can’t recoup your money here, not even close, and not even on clothes that still have their tags on them, or have simply never been worn (why do I do still that?) but it is an excellent way of recycling good clothes and getting a couple of dollars for them.
My last pile is going to the tailors to be taken in and up. That’ll give me more options for now, and I haven’t even dug through winter clothes yet!

My next project was to finally choose a paint color for our bedroom, and maybe our bathroom. And maybe the guest bath, too. Our interior throughout is a lovely golden-tan that changes shades all day with the sunlight. Except in our bedroom – which abuts the screened porch, so it’s always dark-ish. I don’t like golds anyway (not my color) so without the benefit of sunlight, the color looks murky to me, especially in the corners.

I used to love to paint, was tidy and efficient, and became good at it after a professional friend gave me a couple of lessons. But it’s been ten years since I’ve painted a room. My sweetie wanted nothing to do with the project, he thinks the color is fine. It’s obvious we see color differently (men and women do, but that’s another blog). In order to get some visual aids to show him my idea, I bought stick and remove wall paint samples from Sherwin Williams. On their website, go to SAMPLIZE to order 12″ x 12″ squares of the actual paint colors for $6.00 each.

My first choice was a Greige, but it turned out to be the same murky tone as the gold when on the wall. I also ordered Shoji White and Alabaster White, wanting to keep them warm-ish. The clear winner is the Shoji White in an eggshell finish. You can see Agreeable Grey and Shoji White above. Now I really need to get that portrait by my friend Lory framed!

Although he doesn’t want to help paint – and that’s okay – when he sees how much fun I’m having, I’m sure he’ll roll up his sleeves and jump in! I’m not planning to begin painting right away, I’ll wait till the weather is cooler, but I feel like I’ve accomplished something, and now have a pretty and shiny new bedroom to look forward to by finally making a decision.

And last, the idea that finally arrived, and the one I am most excited about… the “something pretty to share” project: I am opening an online shop in ETSY where I will have some of my favorite photographs from the last 25 years available as “Fine Art” archival prints, “Fine Art” archival canvas, some “Fun Art” canvas, and packs of beautiful blank-inside greeting cards just waiting for your words.
For the cards, I’m beginning with a flower series, and have added four images below. I love that shy sunflower. The site will be called “Fairview by Donna O’Klock” and I will let you all know all the details in my next post!

My birthday is in just 16 days, and it’s one I worried I wouldn’t reach… I am glad that I always took good care of myself so that I could now join other women who are in their 70’s, and 60’s, and still chomping at the bit for something new and creative to do, to offer. Reinventing ourselves again.

Love you all, and thank you for reading,
XO Donna

endless summer

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Stevie Wonder’s album, “Hotter Than July” generally describes our Texas weather to a tee! It usually becomes unbearable by now, but it has been a great year for being outdoors, for a change. So, I’m walkin’, yes indeed, I’m walkin!

Mark’s Daily Apple, a health/fitness blog I have been reading for years, had an article on the benefits of having a walking routine. As did CNN, calling it the “most underrated form of exercise.” I gotta admit, I love it when I’m ahead of a trend!

And to make things even better, my youngest sister, Elizabeth, came to visit for eight days! She lives in Wisconsin, and pretty much hates the weather there ten months of the year. All she wanted to do while she was here was go for walks and lie by the swimming pool each day.

So, that’s exactly what we did, sometimes walking twice a day! We also went out riding in our golf cart most evenings – and we were generally able to talk my sweetie into chauffeuring us around.
We saw lots of deer and their still-spotted fawns everywhere. Loved it.

Elizabeth is 14 years younger than I, but of all my sisters, we are the most alike. We both share a love for hair and makeup, healthy foods and fashion. And we both have a warped sense of humor… that certainly goes a long way right now.
Take this photo, for example – I have so few photos of us together, and just when I thought we’d finally have one, she licked me!

I planned a special dinner while she was here, and invited my darling friend Mike for dinner. His new hobby (he’s already mastered being a barista) is mixology. Lucky us! We told him our planned menu and he made us a special cocktail to go with it, the base of which was freshly made watermelon juice, made from a Pecos watermelon! The best of Texas, for sure!

Can you believe I was too busy having fun to take any photos?!?

Elizabeth loves feta cheese more than anyone I know. I’m talking obsessed with feta. And a week or so before her arrival I found a Bon Appétite recipe I had to make for her – a Spinach Feta Tart with an almond-flour crust. Is your mouth watering?

She can’t eat wheat, either, so it was perfect for us, and came out better than we could imagine! Again, no photos. BUT, I will make the tart again and post photos and the recipe. I promise.

Unfortunately, vacations end and she had to return home and go back to work. Still wanting a nice photo of the two of us, I told her to act right. She told me she thinks she always looks awful in photos.
I told her the same thing I’ve said here before – if we think we are going to look awful, it will show.

I coached her a little bit, told my sweetie to give us a count, and lo-and-behold, a great photo to remember our week by!

XO Donna

P.S. – If you haven’t noticed the new button on the right side of your screen yet – the book is a link directly to Amazon where you can purchase Sick and Tired & Sexy! Cheers, y’all.

SLEEPY TIME

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“To sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub.” Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

Now that I am finally sleeping blissfully again, I can look back at how elusive sleep was for more than two years. I tried everything in order to get a good night’s sleep, and while nothing worked then, all of those new habits are now paying off splendidly!
Experts call this process Sleep Hygiene; revamping your habits and developing practices to improve sleep.

A good night’s sleep benefits everyone, in every way, from infants to centenarians.

My long-time favorite evening beverage.

This past year I saw lots and lots of people on social media complaining about sleep deprivation. Yes, there was a whole lot to be anxious about, so you can blame some of our collective sleeplessness on that. But a lot of our new behaviors are causing this sleep disruption: being glued to electronic devices at all hours, a lack of fresh air and daily exercise, working in a new environment (at home, in our pajamas, and often from our bed). Any one of these can contribute to sleeplessness, but compounded?

There are many consequences of poor sleep, especially when it occurs repeatedly.

  • Weakened immunity
  • Mood changes
  • Trouble thinking, concentrating, and both short and long-term memory loss
  • Weight gain
  • Low sex drive
  • Risk of heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure.

Have you ever dealt with a cranky, frustrated, and over-tire toddler? Lack of sleep creates all of those emotions in us, too. Fortunately, we don’t usually throw a screaming tantrum. Although…

Developing a good night-time routine will help reinforce “Bedtime” in your mind, making it easier for you to sleep..

  • Limit naps and caffeine in the afternoon.
  • Build in a one hour buffer before bedtime to unplug from electronic devices. They cause mental stimulation and produce blue-light which can disrupt sleep. If you like to read at night, read a book, or use the black-screen on your e-reader.
  • Lower your lights to signal your brain that it’s time to relax.
  • If you’ve been working in pajamas all day, change to a different pair for bedtime.
  • Make your evening facial cleansing/moisturizing/tooth brushing routine into a relaxing ritual.
  • Make sure your bedroom is dark, cool enough, and if you need it, add some white noise. I used a small old-fashioned fan that whirred softly, but there are also white noise machines that you can purchase.

Experts say you should make this your Golden Rule: only use your bed for sex and sleeping, but I’m not about to hang-out on the couch when I don’t feel well, so I would include recuperation too.

I used to become anxious each night at bedtime because “I knew” I wasn’t going to fall asleep. It became a self-fulfilling prophecy until I developed a Daytime/Bedtime distinction in my mind. I also learned that if I went to bed and wasn’t asleep in 20 minutes, to get up. Stretch, read a book, sit quietly, or do something else calming, in low light, before trying to fall asleep again.

Do you have any tricks or practices that work for you that you would share? Let me know in the comments below.

We’d all like to be sleeping like a baby.

XO Donna

On Hold

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I have never been at a loss for words. Always questioning, curious, maybe a bit nosy, and willing to chip in my two cents worth. 

The very best part of my work life was a career in which I got to spend the day talking to, and learning from, lots of wonderful people! And for the last so many years, talking has turned into writing my book and this blog.

But right now I find myself struck dumb. My beautiful son is gravely ill, and I find myself unable to speak about anything in the face of this.

He has had Multiple Sclerosis since he was in his early 20’s. He turned 53 last week. We had a birthday party for him at his tiny little bungalow, with barely room to move for the people who came to celebrate him, shower him with love, and to eat a piece of the most delicious and beautiful birthday cake I’ve ever seen!

Had you been outside and looking down on that bungalow, I’m sure it would have appeared engulfed in radiant light; an aurora borealis pulsating in greens, pinks and gold.

Thank you all for holding space for me.

XO Donna

GRATITUDE LIST

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Many people have a Wish List this time of year, which, by next week will turn into a Resolutions List.
I used to do both, but I’ve decided to spend the last few days of the year focusing on things for which I’m grateful: big things, little things, good things and even not-so-good, because ultimately, I’m still here. And I don’t take that for granted.

Meeting Santa & Mrs. Claus in Fredericksburg, TX

On December 12th we went to Fredericksburg overnight again with friends. It’s a charming old town begun by German immigrants, which has now become known as the Napa Valley of Texas for its many beautiful vineyards. The whole town was decorated for the holidays, and while strolling Main Street, look who we met!

Normally I would just take a nice photo of them – which I did – but neither of us wanted sit for our photo. Vanity, I guess. But, they began chatting with us, in between an occasional kiddie photo… and Santa and Mrs. Claus won us both over.

I’m trying not to fall off the arm of the chair, and everyone is looking somewhere else, but the spontaneous joy of doing something silly was delightful. And now, memorable. I am very glad to have met them, and want more spontaneous joy in my life!

Speaking of joy, my dear friend Holly (nianow.com/hollynastasi) sent me a little gift to “make things sparkle,” her wonderful words… and upon opening the box, I found two long strands of twinkling star-shaped lights run by solar power. They were just the inspiration I needed to finally decorate. We were actually feeling a little bah-humbug about it (highly-unmotivated is our buzzword) but we knew if we did nothing, we’d regret it. And, just like that, magic!

Now motivated, I went on to make a holiday greeting card out of a photo I’d taken two years ago. Feeling it was just a little plain, I decided to add some glitter to each card. I was so proud of myself when I sat down with my glue-stick and a tube of multi-colored glitter and got to work. And I loved the results, the icicles were all sparkling and bright!

Later, talking to my friend, Maria – who teaches Coffee Break Creativity – (she has helped me branch-out and really enjoy making art… letting go of my perfectionism!) she told me she never uses glitter, and now I know why. There is glitter everywhere, andI will never get it off of, or out of everything, I’m certain! Everyone who gets one of those cards is going to hate me… LOL! Live and learn. Sorry!

So, from my house to yours, I gratefully (and glitter-free) wish you a lovely holiday season, a Merry Christmas, and a Happy, Healthy New Year! Thank you for reading, for commenting, and for all of your good vibes. Lots of love,

XO Donna

According to Plan

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There’s an old saying: If you want to hear God laugh… tell her your plans.

The last time I wrote I was heading out to a family wedding. My sister Elizabeth’s son was getting married in St. Louis, MO. Happily, I found a direct flight – only 2 hours and 15 minutes – sadly, the morning of my flight there was a fatal car accident a few blocks from the airport. Traffic was tied-up in every direction for 5 1/2 hours, making the national news. Needless to say, I missed my flight and scrambled to find one later that day. Rather than arriving in St. Louis at noon, I didn’t get there until 8:30 p.m. It made for a long day.

My sisters picked me up and we headed to our hotel room which had two queen beds, a huge sofa and (just) one bathroom… for the four of us! I am used to my privacy and quiet… but, it was a blast, a pajama party! Crowded and chaotic, with suitcases, hanging bags, make-up bags, a box of wine, snacks and shoes everywhere.

We got very little sleep because we stayed up late each night looking through a large box of old photos, some from the 1930’s, and talking about everything under the sun. Breakfast was included with our suite and the hotel served up the best buffet I’ve ever had. We started each morning lingering over breakfast and coffee. Lots of coffee.

The rehearsal dinner was held in a beautifully treed park, outside under a pavilion. A lovely autumn setting, scrumptious food that was all home-made by both families. I almost froze to death, (I cannot handle the cold anymore) but what a memorable meal and get together.

The wedding the next evening was an elegant, intimate affair (50 guests) in a lovely hundred year old hall surrounded by stately old trees. Rachael, my stunning new niece-in-law, and Ryan did a spectacular job of planning their own wedding AND making everything happen, and it all came off without a hitch!
And, did I mention the food? I was not your normal catered menu, it was closer to Thanksgiving dinner, but with amazing smoked meats rather than turkey. Delicious! The bride’s Mother, Jennifer, even made the stunning wedding cake! No detail was overlooked, including a hand-written personal note to every guest. A completely unexpected and touching surprise. Everyone danced until the very last song, and I was so busy having fun that I forgot to take photos! Although I do have the selfie I took wearing my Mom’s necklace, which I had repaired just for the wedding. Welcome to our family of strong, amazing women, Rachael!

The return trip to Austin was not much easier than my flight to St. Louis. My sisters had to drop me off early, then my flight was delayed 90 minutes, so I again spent hours sitting and strolling around.
I haven’t flown since before the pandemic… and was shocked that food, beverage and snack prices, while always more expensive than elsewhere, had tripled. I paid $23.00 for a small, bland, pre-packaged Chicken Caesar salad and bottle of water. My lesson: don’t go to the airport hungry… I think I’d rather not go to the airport anymore at all.

Last Monday was my birthday, and I turned 72. Unbelievable, where has the time gone?
The restaurant where I wanted to have my birthday dinner was closed Sunday and Monday, so we planned on dining there on Wednesday.

That did not go according to plan at all.

On Tuesday afternoon I was in the kitchen, just about to truss a plump chicken to go in the oven, when I felt like I was having another stroke: my left hand sudden went heavy and numb, then I had cold tingling up my left arm, down the left side of my face, then my left thigh. To avoid falling, I slid down to the floor and called out for help. My sweetie called 911 and relayed what I was experiencing to the dispatcher…
EMS and the fire department were on our doorstep within a few minutes, and took over. Whatever they pay these men, give them a raise! My symptoms subsided, but my blood pressure was dangerously high. So, I got to ride to the ER in an ambulance. Had I been in my 50’s, five hunky firemen hovering over me would have been exciting. Now, in my 70’s, I just felt safe knowing I’d get the care I needed quickly.

I spent 24 hours in the emergency room because all the hospital beds were full. Even the ER was overflowing with people on gurneys in the halls. The poor nurses were harried, but kind and caring. The population where I live has increased 40% in the last few years – Georgetown is the fastest growing city in Texas! With only two hospitals within 30 minutes, we clearly need more of them. And more nurses. Give them a raise, too, our lives depend on them!

Fortunately, after all the testing, it was not a stroke, but a TIA (transient ischemic attack) which is a “mini-stroke” which resolves itself and leaves no residual effects, deficits. With all of my preventive medications, exercise and (sadly restrictive) healthful diet, why did this happen again?

My next few weeks are going to be busy – I feel like a socialite making the rounds – meeting a new cardiologist, a new new neurologist, and a new hematology oncologist. At least I met my new primary care physician a couple of months ago. All of them are women, all working to figure out this challenge and get me healthy again.
Right now I am afraid to go anywhere or do anything alone, worried the “other shoe will drop.” I know this will pass with time.

And unfortunately, all of this necessitated cancelling our long-awaited vacation in Cancun on Dec. 9th. The beautiful turquoise water. The spectacular pool. Relaxing with dear friends. And five days of delicious food that I don’t have to cook! Dammit, dammit, dammit!!

So, please, if you take HBP or heart meds, stay on top of them. Take your blood pressure regularly at home and keep track. Wear compression hose – you wouldn’t believe the difference they make in your energy level and blood pressure. I love mine, but, I’ve always loved the “hug” of wearing tights. Drink enough water. Eat even cleaner. Drink less alcohol. Exercise like your life depends on it. It does. Keep your medical conditions and medications on a health app in your phone, and on a piece of paper, easily accessible.

I do all of the above. I was able to hand medical records and a list of meds to both EMS and the hospital so they had everything they needed in case I couldn’t have spoken for myself. I’ll find my way through this with a little help from my doctors… and from my friends.

Thank you for reading,
XO Donna

Spirit of St. Louis

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Last month we took a road trip to Alpine and stayed at an AirBnb. We had some loose plans and really were looking forward to dinner at our favorite place, The White Buffalo Bar & Grill.

It had been in the hundreds for weeks, and dry for months here. We trusted it would be cooler, at least at night, in the west Texas mountains. As we turned off the interstate and headed south we were greeted by a rainstorm and the temps dropped 30 degrees!

Rather than drive out to dinner after we got settled, we went to the local grocery store. We had trouble finding it – it had moved since we were last there years ago, and not only that, it had been upgraded to something close to a Whole Foods! Everything we could want! Hog Heaven!

The next day we had lunch up in Marathon (where White Buffalo is) at a delicious new BBQ joint. Sat outside on the patio and people-watched as we ate. That evening, with the sky looking like rain again and the wind picking up, we went for a walk in the neighborhood before the rain came.

We saw a 3-story Spanish-style house with conifers almost twice as tall. There was a ranch that had been remodeled with Moroccan arches across the front and Ponderosa pines in their yard. The driveway and road were carpeted with pine needles. And another remodel with a big, furry brown pig in the yard.

On a corner lot was an enormous Victorian house with wrap-around porches, vegetable gardens and a spectacular multiple-lines clothesline with sheets and towels flapping and snapping in the breeze. Then I saw something I’d never seen – gigantic rosemary bushes, up near the porch, draped with children’s small t-shirts, dresses, underwear and pajamas drying in the sun. Can you imagine how good those are going to smell?

We ended up doing nothing that we’d planned and serendipity filled that empty space with beauty and joy!

I’ve been packing for a trip to St. Louis tomorrow, and I’ve observed myself being frustrated to the point of having a childish tantrum. I’m not used to such limited allowances for my clothing, shoes, toiletries. Unused to being bound by an airline’s itinerary: be here two hours early… and sit. I seem unable to pack for three events and do so around the weather. All in a small suitcase. I’m anxious about managing all of my dietary restrictions. About being in crowds again with Covid on the rise. (I did my booster shot and a flu shot last week.) And about people behaving badly on the airplane, too.

This morning I woke feeling more “on top of things.” My old self was back.

I’ve got my luggage sorted. Got some gluten-free snacks in my carry-on along with a good book. And I added a slim North Face puffy jacket to allow for the cold weather that’s arriving as I do.

I’m going for Elizabeth’s oldest son Ryan’s wedding to Rachel. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about her that I can’t wait to meet her! My other two sisters are coming also. It’s been years since we’ve all been together. Andee is picking me up at the airport and then we are picking Lynn up at the train station. The same station I went to from New York annually with my Mom to see her older sister, Wilma. All I remember about Aunt Wilma is that she and my Mom loved each other and missed each other. And she was the best biscuit-maker in the world, making two batches every morning. The aroma!

Full circle. I remember Mom letting Terry and me explore on the train, as she sat holding Lynn, just a baby then, close to her. Will anything about it the train station seem familiar? It’s been 60 years. We’ll see. I am going to relax now, enjoy the flight tomorrow, and have fun with my sisters at a beautiful wedding. I’ll take lots of photos and leave lots of room for serendipity to show up.

XO Donna

No Good Deed…

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goes unpunished. I know that isn’t the first thing that should come to mind because it’s reinforcing a negative thought. I strive to align my thoughts toward the positive, but when stuff like this happens, and I’m up to my derrière in alligators, it is still my first thought.
Good intentions be damned.

I don’t know which of us found them, but one morning last week when the small kitchen pantry door was opened we were greeted with an infestation of “pantry moths!” I was aghast, and chuckling, thinking “Mothra, Mothra!!” It is an old 60’s monster movie from Japan where a giant moth attacks Tokyo. My pantry is the heartbeat of my house. My Tokyo.

Turk grabbed the vacuum cleaner and vacuumed them off of the ceiling and walls in there. I went through bags of grains, beans, corn meal, etc. that had been opened and threw it all out. I did some rearranging, cleaning as I went and put some opened pastas into big ziploc bags and then we patted ourselves on the back.

That didn’t last long. A couple of days later they were back! And some of the ziplocs had new moths and larvae inside them. Now I was really flipping out! You may know them as flour moths, grain moths or food moths. They multiply rapidly and disgustingly. I found a couple of larvae on the shelf. Where had they come from? I’d thrown out everything that had been opened! This called for a deeper clean.

I got online and read-up on exactly what to do. It turns out that the boxes that were closed are no match for hungry worms – they were inside those, too.

  1. Errybody out!! 2. Check every. single. package. and toss what’s been opened. 3) Clean shelves, walls, baseboards with a bleach & water solution. 4. Let it dry naturally and put everything back, with grains, seeds, nuts, flours in sealed packages.

So where did the little buggers come from? Someone had given my son (who cannot cook because of his disability) a couple bags of black beans and brown rice, which he loves, especially with sour cream and diced green onion on corn tortillas. A perfect vegetarian meal! He in turn gave them to me to cook, portion them out, and bring them to him.

The bad news: those packages were infested! The good news: Because of them, I have a newly organized, and bug-proof pantry.

I always admired a well put-together pantry stocked with real everyday food in all it’s oddly-shaped packages. I did my best, and I’m pleased with the results.

In other news: my Spanish lessons are going great. I can construct paragraphs to read aloud. Speaking spontaneously is still frustrating, I get so tongue-tied! That’s what we work on in my in-person class here. I notice small improvements weekly… I remember listening to a simple story and thinking, “How am I ever going to understand that?” Now, amazingly, I can.
I am continuing with Duolingo, too. I owe all of my progress and vocabulary to daily practice, and it’s fun, although a bit childish, with Duolingo. It’s nice to know I’m increasing the neuroplasticity in my brain.

I also excited about the new exercise facility built just down the street, and it’s pool is beautiful. Unfortunately, it’s right out there in the sun, and who wants to lounge around a pool when it’s 107 degrees? Or go walk in the morning when it’s 82 at 7:00? Sadly we’ve only been in the pool three times, but the treadmill and elliptical have been so much fun! I learned that you get a much better result by raising the incline on the treadmill, and you can even select a “hilly” walk where it raises and lowers itself. I listen to music and look out at the sparkling pool. Soon, pool. Soon.

I also had my fourth session with a personal trainer yesterday. I have always liked lifting weights, and right now they are helping me get/feel stronger. After being ill for so long, off all of my hormones, and having lost so much weight, the machines are giving me a way to regain muscle and stay strong. I don’t want to become fragile like many elderly people do. My balance is great, thanks to years of Nia, and I’m flexible from years of yoga. Building strength through load-bearing exercise builds bone density, so yesterday my trainer and I worked with Kettlebells for the first time and it was a blast! My arms feel “alive” today, as does my butt.

Cropped view of two African-American woman exercising together in a city park on the waterfront. They are wearing long sleeved sports clothing. The woman in the dark pink shirt is a plus size model with a large build. She is in her 30s and her friend is in her 40s. They are lifting kettlebells in unison, in a squatting position.
Woman working out
Close up of unrecognizable athletic woman having sports training with kettle bell.

I very much like tapping into my masculine energy. It’s our take action and get-it-done energy. I noticed that I was feeling too withdrawn, unmotivated and even a little bit helpless, and this is bringing balance to that. Plus, I will be willing to go sleeveless with a bit more definition in my arms.
I’m beginning to feel my inner-strength again. I want to greet my 72nd birthday in eight weeks feeling like myself again!

XO Donna

Busy Body

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I’ve started playing a card game called Hand and Foot with a group of women two weeks ago. It’s a variation of Canasta, and I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. I remember my Mom used to play cards once in a while, and this was what she played.

Playing Canasta makes me feel connected to her.

I was fortunate to have two amazing teachers – both incredibly patient, with a gift for explaining the hows and whys. I sat at the corner of the table and watched as they played. Everyone took the time to explain moves and answer my questions as they played.
Two different days and 10 games later, I played for the first time, making some mistakes (just to get them out of the way) yet my partner and I won! I’m looking forward to playing again this Friday… right after I finish my second Spanish class!

I am finally taking that Conversational Spanish course. I signed up for a Thursday morning class, because it was convenient, but I was the only student who showed up! I had the teacher all to myself and we talked (in Spanish) about everything in our lives – she is also the oldest of five girls! I struggled, of course, but we covered a lot in 90 minutes. When I left I was certain that I was in over my head, but that evening la maestra texted me to ask if I could do her Friday class instead. She thinks I am “more advanced” with my Spanish and would enjoy the Friday class more.

Now, every other Friday I will have to rush from Spanish class to the card game. Ándele!

Relaxed Young Woman Lying On Fitness Mat Doing Exercise With Yoga Belt And Two Blocks

On Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons I take a Restorative Yoga class. I wrote about this in my book, in the chapter on Yin Yoga. I love it.
These slow, supported poses (3 -5 minutes) relax your body deeply, which enables your nervous system’s fight-or-flight response to let it’s guard down. When you feel safe, your body relaxes. We use blocks, bolsters, belts and blankets to lean against, lie on, or prop-up, in order to take the effort out of a pose/stretch. After everything we ask of our bodies, it’s a nice respite. I always feel completely chilled-out after class.

It’s a wonderful way to overcome feeling stressed and anxious about everything that is beyond our control. I didn’t realize how tense I was until I felt my body relax completely. I may have even had tears running down my face as I lay there.

These poses increase flexibility of both body and mind, and lubricate your joints, which is a good thing!

Speaking of flexibility – I read an article by the Arthritis Foundation the other day about maintaining knee health as we age. (My rheumatologist sends them to me.) If you have knee issues and are overweight the study shows that losing 1 lb. of weight resulted in 4 lbs. of pressure being removed from the knees. Losing just 10 lbs. will relieve 40lbs. of pressure on your knees, AND that same 10 lb. weight loss will relieve 60 lbs. of pressure from your hips!

Also – new studies show we don’t need to walk 10,000 steps daily to extend our lives, Just 4,000 will do the job! After that, each additional 1,000 steps will reduce your risk of dying “from any cause” by 15%. And the more you move, the better – adults older than 60 saw a 42% decline in mortality risk when they walked between 6-10K steps daily. I know lots of people don’t like to exercise, but I swear to you, making it a fun part of your life will have huge benefits when you’re older and can get around easily: climb stairs, get in-and-out of chairs, cars, airplanes, boats, etc. The hardest part is always getting started. Once you do, momentum, and how well you will feel (body and mind) will keep you going!

Stay well, and take good care of yourself. Until next time,

XO Donna

THIRD ACT

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How are we almost to the half-way point of July? You’d think being retired that my days would drag by… but they don’t and every once in a while I take a day to lie about, recuperate, and do nothing.

Well, no I don’t, not really. On a day where there’s nothing I absolutely must do, I’ll try out a complicated new wheat-free recipe like these amazing (and I don’t say this lightly) Lemon Raspberry Bars. The woman who developed this recipe and many others, Katarina Cermelj, has revolutionized gluten-free baking! I’ve had to avoid wheat for more than 12 years now. I got used to the way GF baking was different, and limited myself to the few things that were good even though they were wheat-free.

These GF beauties have a lemon-zest shortbread base, a layer of seedless raspberry jam which keeps the cookie base crisp, and atop that are fresh raspberries with a crumb topping. They are wheat-free, egg-free, and scrumptious. You can find them here: theloopywhisk.com
Even before I baked these, I knew Katarina was on to something and I immediately ordered her book. She is a food scientist and a recipe developer and all of her bakes are beautifully photographed. My bake came out just as beautiful as hers, and more delicious than I ever could have imagined! I’m gonna do it again, very soon, I’ve got another jar of raspberry jam and a pint of berries in the fridge.

Another new-to-me thing I’ve been doing is listening to podcasts. Julia Louis-Dreyfus has a delightful one where she interviews women older than her – she calls it “getting schooled by women older and wiser than herself,” and it’s appropriately called “Wiser Than Me.” I have found every single one of her interviews to be informative, thoughtful and entertaining, but I especially liked her conversations with Isabel Allende and Diane von Furstenberg – talk about wise women!
I really appreciated DVF’s attitude toward aging; she believes aging is living and eschews the word. “It’s a privilege, and we should change the question from “how old are you” to “how long have you lived?” I liked that, there is so much more to the question, it’s not just a dead-end. Check it out and let me know which are your favorites.

Forgive me if I am repeating myself, but during the pandemic I decided to brush-up on my Spanish using the Duolingo online app and website. I thought it would lend some structure to my day and help me meet my goal of being able to speak well again. I studied Spanish all through high school and for many years afterward I could speak and read quite well. I remember reading One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez in Spanish with my friend Debbie, and a Spanish dictionary, in the early 1980s. Slowly, and sadly, much of my grasp of the language has slipped away. I’ve taken conversational classes here and there, but nothing consistent until the pandemic began.

I am now on day 701. Yep. Seven hundred and one days of consistently reading, writing and learning vocabulary. Unfortunately, what I haven’t done is speak, except to myself. (There’s only so much my sweetie is willing to listen to in a language he doesn’t understand.) Fortunately, there is an International Languages Club here in Sun City. They offer Spanish, French, Italian, German, Russian, Polish and quite a few others. The courses are offered at all levels and there are intensive grammar classes in between sessions so you can dive deeper. Imma stay up here in the shallow end of the pool for now, but I am very excited to begin when the next session starts a couple weeks from now in August!

Speaking of pools… I going to grab my towel and sunscreen and head over to the pool for a swim now that I’ve done everything on my to-do list. I’m finally getting the hang of being retired!

I hope you are stying cool and you and yours are doing well. Thank you for reading, and if you ever have questions, please feel free to comment and ask.

Thank you for reading,
XO Donna

WSJ, the Met & Me

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I got an email from my darling publisher a few mornings ago:

“Hi, Donna – ICYMI (that’s editor talk for “in case you missed it”) “Flaming June” and Frederic Leighton were the topic of an article in the WSJ Review written by Barrymore Laurence Sherer.
Title of article is “A Victorian Vision of Beautiful Youth.” Such a treat to learn more about the artist and painting, now on loan to the Met in NYC. Happy Spring, Cynthia.”

I looked it up, and the article was very eloquent, and equally verbose… but, the main points were that this is Sir Frederic Leighton’s (1830-1896) most famous painting for its vivid color, and his technique that both conceals and reveals, appearing almost weightless. Scholars have called Flaming June “his most uninhibited hymn to human beauty and life itself.” It is currently on loan to the Metropolitan Museum of Art from Puerto Rico’s Museo de Arte de Ponce along with five others through 2024. I’d love to see it.

I remember being enthralled the first time I saw the painting in an art class, and 50 years later, I am thrilled to be able to use it for my book cover.

In other news, I think I told you that I began studying Spanish using the DuoLingo app during the pandemic. I have managed to practice daily for 635 days now, usually spending between 4 – 5 hours a week. I’ve decided that when I hit the two-year mark in a few months that I may switch to Babble, unless some of you have other suggestions for online learning that worked for you? Please drop me a note in Comments.

My reading and writing comprehension are both good, but I get a little “tongue-tied” when I speak. And I can’t roll my Rrrrrrr anymore! But I do speak to everyone who will speak with me and I have had lots of opportunity. I’ve found that native speakers are always very kind, patient, and complimentary and it keeps me encouraged.

I don’t know if this is a good habit, or a bad one, but I’ve developed the habit of eating “at my desk.” Having never had a desk job, it’s a new experience for me, and it feels fun. I make myself a latte in the morning, having treated myself to a milk frother since I’ve had to give up my cream. (I’m limited to lactose-free milk right now – but it warms up and froths beautifully!)
Next I warm-up one of this week’s batch of gluten-free muffins, then carry them to my desk where I read Apple news. It is an extravagance having the time to do this with no demands at all as the sun comes up. Maybe I should think of it as more of a ritual?

What ever we call it, we all deserve an extravagant moment every day. Time to recharge our body, mind, and spirit so that we can be present to ourselves and for others.

XO Donna

WATCH PARTY

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One hundred years ago, today, Warner Brothers Studio was founded. The four Warner brothers were Russian Jewish immigrants whose father brought them to America because they weren’t allowed to work in their homeland. Although illiterate and uneducated (also something they weren’t allowed) they were sharp and ambitious. Realizing that people liked to see movies – which in 1903 were a new thing, they bought a projector and began showing movies – at 5 cents per person – they soon operated more “Nickelodeons” than anyone in the city. Their business savvy, and their desire to make movies themselves, led to the creation of Warner Brothers Pictures on April 4, 1923.
The studio became known for making movies that portrayed “social realism,” addressing such things as anti-Semitism, war-time atrocities, horrible prison conditions, and in 1938 they made the first explicitly anti-Nazi movie, which resulted in Germany banning all films made in America.

In 1942 they made one of my favorite movies: Casablanca. Humphrey Bogart was one of their contract players, and Ingrid Bergman was new to acting. I was surprised (shocked) to find out that Ronald Regan and Ann Southern were considered for the parts… Good call, Warner brothers! Tonight, to celebrate, we are watching Casablanca again. I know I will never tire of it.
(*info from tcinla757@substack.com)

This is a busy week for everyone! Tomorrow begins Passover, and I’m still in newish-Jewish mode. Learning about my heritage through cooking… and through that food, seeing the interconnectedness of us all through the ages. To all of my Jewish readers – I’m grateful for your presence in my life on Passover, and always!

Thursday, the 6th brings the full Moon – she’s the element that ties all of these religious observations together. I’ve been a Moonchild since I was an infant. Her constancy has been something I have counted on my whole life. I make a point to mark every month to go outside to greet the Moon, ponder her influence on us, and our planet. I still buy paper calendars each year so that I can have the phases of the Moon marked out for me, a digital calendar just won’t do. So, if it isn’t a habit you normally have, go outside and look up tomorrow night. Say, “Hello, Moon!”

This Sunday the 9th is Easter. We’ve been invited to a lovely (and I know it will be a delicious) dinner with family and extended family. I count myself lucky to again be included in, and surrounded by women who love to cook.
To all of my Christian readers – I wish you all a Happy Easter filled with Peace and Joy.

Wishing you all a chance to dress up, eat too much chocolate, turn off the news, and spend precious time visiting with family, friends, and tribe
XO Donna